Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
