Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
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I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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