she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
