happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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