I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
