I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize