guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Even my vagina gasped.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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