: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
