Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
