my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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