Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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