i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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