I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize