but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
