you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
