Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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