Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
