That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's a Shit stain on my heart
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
