i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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