he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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