Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
