Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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