Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
