im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
