Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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