me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just forgot I was standing up.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
