420 ftw
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
