She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
