I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
