Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
