This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize