As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
