thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
