I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
