even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
