Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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