please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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