ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
