i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my shit smells like andre
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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