You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
