well I can't set my house on fire every night
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Floor bacon is actually really good
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
