he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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