Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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