look no pants
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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