i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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