i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
