I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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