we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is wine microwaveable?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
