Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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