I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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