Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize