ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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