i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize