I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
