Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
