btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
