I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
